Perspective, people!

'Selfies are for losers, mother. I am trying to cut teeth over here. FML.' - the Kraken

So... Jamie-gate. Breast vs bottle. Cue judgy comments, bitching and spats across the whole interweb.

I am a touch opinionated *ahem* and for a while, really wanted to give my two-penneth worth. And then I decided not to because everyone had missed the point - including me. Sailed waaaaay past it whilst we argued and verbally bitch-slapped each other - and poor Jamie. He meant well but trying to lecture a bunch of sleep-deprived, hormonal women was never going to end well.

The point is, in my view, about doing your own personal best for your baby - however and whatever that is. It's going to play out differently for different people, as we all have different strengths, weaknesses, priorities and choices - just like pregnancy and labour - there are a million variations on the same scale, but ultimately nothing is right or wrong, just different.

At the heart of it is love for our children, and that's all that matters. End of. But it made me realise how easy it is to bitch and moan about each other and the parenting process, although GOOD GRIEF there are enough reasons why you would - so I wanted to list out some massive positives, because there are plenty. And because I like lists.

1. Worrying. I used to frequently attempt to give myself stomach ulcers worrying about anything from work issues to running out of coffee, and dear god what a waste of life that was. I still worry of course, but it's mainly about the Kraken - although the thought of running out of coffee is now genuinely terrifying. There's only so many times you can be covered in baby sick and frequently, accidentally flash the Amazon delivery man whilst breastfeeding and opening the door and still worry about small things. I genuinely worry less about life in general, and it's bloody great.

2. Relaxing. See above. I could not, for the life of me, relax before I had the Kraken. I thought it just wasn't in my nature, I had to be productive or DO something every waking second - exhausting. So now when I have a spare ten minutes to myself I find I can actually relax the shit out of it because I need to. (And before you point out the bleeding obvious, I find writing relaxing. So there.)

3. Body competitiveness. Women compare themselves to each other - it's just something we do, subconsciously or not. Before getting pregnant I worked out and ate well, and had a really decent figure. Then the Kraken starting baking and things changed, but I rolled with it because I was pregnant, and it's the one time you're legit allowed to be big and round. It's frigging expected.

But afterwards... that's tough. Unhelpfully, celebs with nannies and personal trainers 'pop back' into shape seemingly overnight, and leave the rest of us feeling really crap. I'm here to tell you that it is bullshit, and it often requires hard work and help to lose pregnancy weight, but more importantly, your body is different now, so there's no going back to before. Again, everyone's different but in my case I have: an extra 10kg still hanging around, stretch marks on my abdomen and thighs, wider hips, different-shaped boobs, a wider belly button, a dark linea negra (although fading) and many errr... internal changes that I won't darken your door with.

But you know what - it's not the be all and end all. I won't ever look like I did before, and I certainly can't compete with a 20 year-old or some pouty celeb type, but I don't have to. And ironically it's lifted the heaviest weight off me. Yes, I want to be healthy and lose some weight to fit into some of my wardrobe again and wear my wedding/engagement rings eventually, but I genuinely don't give rats ass about comparing myself to anything or anyone.

4. Laughing. The adage of 'if you don't laugh, you'll cry' is never more relevant than with a baby, but the fact that the Kraken makes me crack up (in a good way) at least once a day is the kind of comedy-gold happiness that I didn't have before. Admittedly I've also never hissed 'FML' through gritted teeth quite so much as I have in the last five months, but see below.

5. Patience. This is a skill - or attribute that I was not blessed with, at all. So every single scrap I now possess is down to the Kraken. It's been hard won, and at times I thought I might implode with the lack of it, but now I can deal with three simultaneous (literal) shit storms, a teething-related screaming match and a bottle lobbing incident whilst smiling. I know this because that, reader, is a summary of my afternoon. And the Kraken and I are both still alive.

So there we go - if I can be positive, anyone can. Let's get some perspective and keep it!